April 8th, 2011 at my friend April's wedding.
May 13th, 2012. Back in my wedding dress for the first time in 5 years!
Monday, May 21, 2012
Saturday, May 19, 2012
1 Year Later
I've got a fun story to tell you...
I've been working hard this past week and a half, as I told you I would in my last blog. I needed to be at 157 on my scale in order to be at 160 on my doc's scale. After working hard (I COMPLETELY cut out sugar, amongst other things) I was hopeful that I might just make it. So, I woke up yesterday, did my usual pre-weigh in routine (go to the bathroom, undress, take hair tie out), stepped on the scale and saw: 159. I wasn't going to make it after all.
I can't lie, my heart broke a bit. I told God I was bummed, but that I knew He wanted me to remember how far I've come and that I also wasn't done yet. This is a lifelong change that I'm just at the beginning of. I did my best to get my heart right and remind myself that God's plans are bigger than a number on a scale and that I can trust Him with what was happening. Then I finished getting dressed, ate very little so that I would at least be as low as I could be at the doctor's office, and headed off.
When I got to the doc's office, I got changed into my wedding rehearsal dress (I got in my wedding dress earlier this week!! Such a fun bonus!). It's a simple black dress that's light weight, chosen because I knew there was going to be pictures, and also hoping it wouldn't affect the scale much. I had gotten my confidence back a bit, after all I had lost 73 pounds by my scale. That's nothing to sneeze at! I was shown back to an exam room, and got on the scale, ready to give my "well 98% excess weight loss is not bad!" speech. Then I looked up at the number:
God has done so many miracles in my life. And yesterday He gave me one more. Looking back on the last year He has done so much; taught me and changed me and given me victory over things I thought would hold me forever. Thankful doesn't begin to describe how I feel about what He's done. And I won't stop at being thankful, either. I believe God has empowered me to defeat these demons not just for me, but so that I can help others know there's a way out, too. We all have our addictions. We all have our everyday battles that beat us down. But let me tell you something: God is bigger. And He wants in on the fight. You don't have to do this alone, no matter what your struggle is. God doesn't want you to try and fix your problems on your own. He knows you can't. He also knows He can. I'm living proof.
In the future, I hope to help women in the church specifically with this food battle. Two-thirds of America is overweight and the church is no exception. What that says to me is that food is an issue that people need God's help with. So often it's looked at as something that we need to do on our own. I mean, it's almost weird to think that God cares if I have another brownie. But He does. God cares about anything that is hurting us. Anything that is the master of us. And if we're consistently overweight and can't manage to control our food choices in order to help that, then food has become our master. I learned that the hard way.
So we'll see what God's going to do with this. I hope to be His tool to help others in any way He sees fit. I want others to experience the freedom that I've come to know. I want everyone to invite Jesus into their battles so that they can finally see victory.
(Steps off soapbox...)
Thank you all for supporting me through this last year. I'm not done yet, I actually still have another 9 pounds I want to lose regardless of what the doctor says, but I know I'll get there soon. Until then, I've got some fun plans to celebrate how far God's brought me when Ben and I go visit my folks in Vegas in a week and a half!
My plan for the future of this blog is to start including some healthy lifestyle "tips" that I've found the most beneficial. That will help keep me on my toes, too, and encourage me to keep looking for ways to be more healthy in a manageable way.
Much love to you all,
Leigh
P.S. Before and After pictures will be coming shortly!! (Ben saw the "before" picture and went, "noooooo..." it was pretty funny.) :)
I've been working hard this past week and a half, as I told you I would in my last blog. I needed to be at 157 on my scale in order to be at 160 on my doc's scale. After working hard (I COMPLETELY cut out sugar, amongst other things) I was hopeful that I might just make it. So, I woke up yesterday, did my usual pre-weigh in routine (go to the bathroom, undress, take hair tie out), stepped on the scale and saw: 159. I wasn't going to make it after all.
I can't lie, my heart broke a bit. I told God I was bummed, but that I knew He wanted me to remember how far I've come and that I also wasn't done yet. This is a lifelong change that I'm just at the beginning of. I did my best to get my heart right and remind myself that God's plans are bigger than a number on a scale and that I can trust Him with what was happening. Then I finished getting dressed, ate very little so that I would at least be as low as I could be at the doctor's office, and headed off.
When I got to the doc's office, I got changed into my wedding rehearsal dress (I got in my wedding dress earlier this week!! Such a fun bonus!). It's a simple black dress that's light weight, chosen because I knew there was going to be pictures, and also hoping it wouldn't affect the scale much. I had gotten my confidence back a bit, after all I had lost 73 pounds by my scale. That's nothing to sneeze at! I was shown back to an exam room, and got on the scale, ready to give my "well 98% excess weight loss is not bad!" speech. Then I looked up at the number:
160.0. On. The. Dot.
I know God must have been smiling with me at this point. I didn't hear Him audibly, but I knew He was saying to my heart: "I needed you to turn your eyes on Me and My purposes for your life. I needed you to remember that it's just a number on a scale. I needed you to know that you're working so hard to please Me and bring Me glory, not your doctor. Once you had that straight, I was happy to give this to you, too."
God has done so many miracles in my life. And yesterday He gave me one more. Looking back on the last year He has done so much; taught me and changed me and given me victory over things I thought would hold me forever. Thankful doesn't begin to describe how I feel about what He's done. And I won't stop at being thankful, either. I believe God has empowered me to defeat these demons not just for me, but so that I can help others know there's a way out, too. We all have our addictions. We all have our everyday battles that beat us down. But let me tell you something: God is bigger. And He wants in on the fight. You don't have to do this alone, no matter what your struggle is. God doesn't want you to try and fix your problems on your own. He knows you can't. He also knows He can. I'm living proof.
In the future, I hope to help women in the church specifically with this food battle. Two-thirds of America is overweight and the church is no exception. What that says to me is that food is an issue that people need God's help with. So often it's looked at as something that we need to do on our own. I mean, it's almost weird to think that God cares if I have another brownie. But He does. God cares about anything that is hurting us. Anything that is the master of us. And if we're consistently overweight and can't manage to control our food choices in order to help that, then food has become our master. I learned that the hard way.
So we'll see what God's going to do with this. I hope to be His tool to help others in any way He sees fit. I want others to experience the freedom that I've come to know. I want everyone to invite Jesus into their battles so that they can finally see victory.
(Steps off soapbox...)
Thank you all for supporting me through this last year. I'm not done yet, I actually still have another 9 pounds I want to lose regardless of what the doctor says, but I know I'll get there soon. Until then, I've got some fun plans to celebrate how far God's brought me when Ben and I go visit my folks in Vegas in a week and a half!
My plan for the future of this blog is to start including some healthy lifestyle "tips" that I've found the most beneficial. That will help keep me on my toes, too, and encourage me to keep looking for ways to be more healthy in a manageable way.
Much love to you all,
Leigh
P.S. Before and After pictures will be coming shortly!! (Ben saw the "before" picture and went, "noooooo..." it was pretty funny.) :)
Monday, May 7, 2012
Getting Close to the Finish Line... the Real One.
Latest update: 161.4 pounds. 71 pounds down. 11.4 to go. Newest finish line date: June 1st.
Funnest part of that update: I'M IN MY SIZE 10 JEANS!!!
Last time I was at the doctor's office he gave me some fantastic news. At my 10 month appointment, I'd lost 90% of my excess weight. (According to his scale I started at 228, and am currently at 167. 160 would put me at a technically healthy body mass index.) What did this mean to me? I've got 7 weeks to drop 7 pounds. And I had one thought.
It. Is. ON.
I mean, come on... I have to at least TRY for it! And so far? So far I'm down 3. In 3 weeks. And I'm on track to get to 100% of my excess weight lost by my next appointment (and a year from my surgery date): May 18. My body's responding pretty quickly to working out again, especially since I've added weights to the regimen.
What God has quickly reminded me is this: I'll get nowhere without His help. And I have to want His plan more than I want my own. So I told Him the truth, that I wanted to get to 160 (on the doc's scale) by May 18. But I also told Him that I didn't want to do this my way. I wanted to do it the right way. His way. So I dove back into Made to Crave and thankfully, the lessons are still rocking my dieting world. Even the 4th time around!
I'm realizing that a healthy lifestyle with this eating thing is kind of like a healthy marriage. You can't just get lazy once things are good. Eventually, you'll start to slip more and more back into those old bad habits and have to fix it all over again. And I DO NOT want to EVER have to do this again.
Whether or not I hit 160 by that date, I know God has taken me through the worst of this addiction. Mind you, I know I can walk back into at any time, so I'll cling to Jesus as hard as I can from here on out. But if I'll do that, if I'll continue to faithfully renew my mind in His Word, I believe that I won't ever have to be at that desperate place I started ever again. And that is nothing short of miraculous. Food isn't my ruler any more. By God's grace, I am the ruler of my food. And it's gonna stay that way.
As always, your prayers are appreciated. God is doing a lot in my life right now (and my husband's life, too) and I know that being healthy is not the answer to all life's problems. But this last year has taught me so much about who I am in the Lord and how powerful He can be in me that I have faith He can take me through anything. (No, God, that is not a challenge...)
One really fun finish line prize I'm looking forward to? Ben's asked me to go to "prom" with him. Now let me explain... the other night we were at a restaurant and a bunch of high school kids walked by in their fancy dresses and black tuxes. I smiled and sighed. Ben noticed. He knows that in high school I was never asked to prom. (I only went because each year a good guy friend was kind enough to go with me) So he reached over and took my hand and asked, "Will you go to prom with me?" We decided to get all gussied up and go out together. He said he'll even rent a tux. And I realized that would be the perfect way to celebrate me getting to my goal weight. Get in some gorgeous gown and go out on the town with my very own Prince Charming. Yeah, I know, I'm spoiled. And I can't wait.
So my next post will be on May 18. I'll let you know if I "made it", but even if I didn't, I think I can say with confidence that I have faith that I'll get there. And in a lot of the most important ways, I know God's already brought me through. :)
See you in a week and a half!
<3 Leigh
Whether or not I hit 160 by that date, I know God has taken me through the worst of this addiction. Mind you, I know I can walk back into at any time, so I'll cling to Jesus as hard as I can from here on out. But if I'll do that, if I'll continue to faithfully renew my mind in His Word, I believe that I won't ever have to be at that desperate place I started ever again. And that is nothing short of miraculous. Food isn't my ruler any more. By God's grace, I am the ruler of my food. And it's gonna stay that way.
As always, your prayers are appreciated. God is doing a lot in my life right now (and my husband's life, too) and I know that being healthy is not the answer to all life's problems. But this last year has taught me so much about who I am in the Lord and how powerful He can be in me that I have faith He can take me through anything. (No, God, that is not a challenge...)
One really fun finish line prize I'm looking forward to? Ben's asked me to go to "prom" with him. Now let me explain... the other night we were at a restaurant and a bunch of high school kids walked by in their fancy dresses and black tuxes. I smiled and sighed. Ben noticed. He knows that in high school I was never asked to prom. (I only went because each year a good guy friend was kind enough to go with me) So he reached over and took my hand and asked, "Will you go to prom with me?" We decided to get all gussied up and go out together. He said he'll even rent a tux. And I realized that would be the perfect way to celebrate me getting to my goal weight. Get in some gorgeous gown and go out on the town with my very own Prince Charming. Yeah, I know, I'm spoiled. And I can't wait.
So my next post will be on May 18. I'll let you know if I "made it", but even if I didn't, I think I can say with confidence that I have faith that I'll get there. And in a lot of the most important ways, I know God's already brought me through. :)
See you in a week and a half!
<3 Leigh
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)